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I've gambled for as long as I can remember, in fact it feels like all I can remember. I sit here after another day like most where yet again I have lost money. My earliest memory's are my father taking me to the seaside to play on the amusements every other weekend (my parents had split) and this must be where it started. Playing the tupny shiver and fruit machines even though I was around ten years old. From there I still remember going to a caravan park with my mum for my birthday and finding myself losing all my birthday money and even resorting to chucking my new wallet in the bin and telling my mum I had lost the wallet with the money in so not to admit what I had done. Living by the coast I had access to large numbers of fruit machines and remember spending my childhood there on my own for hours and even introducing my younger brother to the fun of the flashing lights. Stealing money at the age of 12-14 to play the machines still embarrassed me but what do you know at that age. As I got older and left school pubs came into play. I remember countless nights out with my mates on £25 jackpot machines with my friends getting pissed off at me and moving onto the next pub without me as I seemed hypnotised by the gamble and either caught up with them if I won or walked home if I lost missing out on a night out. Then I got my first proper job, getting the train to London each day I would do a hard days work and then get the train back. The amount of trains I missed must be in the hundreds as I was to busy playing the machine at the platform sometimes arriving home 3 hours late. Big losses ended up in me not having the money for the train and ending up sitting in the toilet for the hour and a half journey praying the conductor didn't force the door. Countless similar stories have followed with a lot of friendships and relationships finishing due to me always disappearing and never having any money. Missed weekends away and holidays as I kept losing my spending money leaving me sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. Then came FOBT's and the cheque cashing and payday loans as my credit rating was now shot. Yes there were good times with 2-3k winning days quite regular but these never outweighed the losses. Time and time again I would build up a big bank roll only to lose it in one go and then more. That has been the story for the last ten ish years with more time spent gambling then anything else. I have always had good jobs but so far have lost each one due to me disappearing for an afternoon as the desire pulled me away from my desk to waste all my money once again. I am now married, have a mortgage and a good paid job but that is not enough. Still on a monthly basis I will waste at least a grand gambling only for the desire to carry on just as strong. Scratch cards, poker, casinos, fruit machines, bookies, football, horses the list goes on. Why have I sat here and typed all this, maybe because reading the posts on this site I hope some of you can sympathise with me. Not that I blame anyone or want any advise I just want to say I AM TIRED. Tired of wasting all my fucking life gambling. no one I know is in the same situation and no one who now knows me knows what I get up to and unfortunately I don't think they would understand.
Reading that reminded me of a time when me and my pals used to go on jollies down in Manchester. Back then we'd have a hard days working, probably fitting down carpets in various municipal buildings and part of the group would travel from Rochdale to Manchester Victoria.
Now this was just after the privatisation of the national rail network, so we started seeing some wierd stuff. Namely this operator, I can't remember the name exactly, but it was something odd like Preston Valley Trains which didn't really make much sense. Anyhow they had these special toilets on board.
You had a silver locking handle dial and you twisted it halfway to the left for a piss and all the way to the right for a poo. You got two minutes for a piss and then the door would shoot open, not a great problem for gents, but a fair few ladies would get their knickers in a twist. The door was on such a heavy spring that the moment the timer clicked to zero, it'd fly open into the cubicle, probably kneecapping you in the process. If you rotated it for a shit, you'd get seven minutes and thirty seconds. Yep we were sad f##kers and had timed it. However after five minutes the paper dispenser would emit a 30 second warning and the paper would retract into the wall and then the basin would shoot a jet of hot water out the tabs synchronised with the soap dispenser pumping out some lurid green soapy shit.
Well one evening we'd got this lad with us who was always playing silly japes on people. He'd ring people up from the classified ads and wind then up and say he could only pick up whatever they were selling at 3 in the morning or if they were from Gloucester he'd ask after Doctor Foster or if they were selling a chair he'd ask if it was possible to just have half the chair for half price, silly stuff like that.
Well he was doing that silly stuff with us as well. Ringing up the head office and pretending to be John Major wanting a new Axminster in the hall of 10 Downing Street.
We'd had enough and had put some laxatives in his Haribo to teach him a lesson.
No sooner had the train departed Rochdale, than we didnt see his hind legs for smoke (and maybe a bit of shit) and he's in the lav and he has wrenched, literally wrenched the dial all the way to the right and then some.
The conductor appeared in a great state of anxiety.
Apparently this was a prototype train and our friend had just selected not a wee, not a poo, but a giving birth option by taking the dial that extra bit to the right.
We were informed that a robotic inflatable midwife hidden within the soap dispenser would assess the situation and probably perform an emergency Caesarean section. As we sat there trying to take this in, we heard the screams of anguish from the toilet.
The conductor raced down the aisle to the door and gave it a good whack with his size ten boots. Bangy! Bashy! Bang! He ave it some good kicks, but this was a solid door.
However with one furious kick he dislodged the door from the railing system and we saw a horrific sight. The robotic midwife was cutting the 'umbilical cord'. There was a falsetto scream and we knew that from that day onwards our friend was no more. Preston Valley went under as a result (I think Cross Country Trains bought them out) and we never, ever, ever used the toilet on any train ever again.

I'm sorry, that doesn't help you stop gambling, but you saying about the conductor breaking into the toilet reminded me of this story.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I've plumbed the depths of despair a fair few times over the many years that I've been gambling, and can relate to a lot of the things you've mentioned in your OP. Living near Blackpool it started with fruits as a kid, before graduating to betting shops and casinos in my late teens / early 20's. Fruit machines have a lot to answer for; they were regarded as harmless seaside fun for kids and adults alike back in the 80's and 90's, but for those with a particular mindset they unlocked the degenerate gambler within. I think the government have a lot to answer for back in those days for making fruit machines so readily accessible to kids. It paves the way for harder gambling in later years for a lot of people, no matter what biased industry-led studies say. People always say that gambling is a mug's game and the majority of people simply agree or accept what they have been told as good advice. Others like me had to go the long way round to discover that they were right; years of trying to beat -EV games like roulette or blackjack, or even random £500 jackpot games because somehow you think there must be an edge somewhere, having spent years playing compensated and therefore beatable fruit machines and consequently not being able to accept the fact that on these games of chance you cannot win in the long-run, and that in actual fact playing fruit machines with an almost guaranteed edge is not actually gambling at all. Take this mindset into a casino or onto an FOBT and you're fucked. Cue many wasted years and a lot of lost money. It's not the money I care about though; it's the time spend so foolishly that is the hardest to get back. You end up in your 30's or 40's and there are teenagers that have done more with their lives and are more travelled than me.

And with the way gambling has been allowed to proliferate in this country these last few years, there are big problems ahead for a lot of young people. I was in a casino on Tuesday night and a youngish guy on the BJ table (late twenties) was telling me how on Sunday night he was 14k down but managed to pull it back to 6k down. Here he was again, lesson not learned, betting £25 chips on a weekday evening and getting slowly pissed on G&T's and playing BJ so badly he was practically giving his money away. The guy was a barrister, just split from his wife (I wonder why) and was in court the next day for God's sake. You can't tell me that night ended anything but badly for the lad.

These days I still gamble often. I gamble at work, I gamble on the net in bed, I gamble on weekends. But as bad as that sounds, I keep my losses to a minimum - I play Blackjack in casinos using basic strategy (roughly 0.5% house edge) and high RTP% slots online for low stakes, and that's it, apart from maybe a cheap accumulator here and there. This gives me my fix. I'm not trying to win money; I'm just trying to control the cravings as cheaply as possible. It's all very well managed and controlled, and I never chase losses or go out with the purpose of trying to win money. If I do, it's a nice side-effect. I still play fruit machines in the spring and summer and make a few quid, but that's really just to get me out of the house and give the wife some space. It's just a case of being a bit savvy about your gambling, if you have to do it at all. Why play a £500 jackpot B3 on 90% when you can play online at 96%? Why play roulette at 97.3% when you can play BJ properly at 99.50% and lose your money 5 times more slowly? Why play a fruit in a pub at 76% at all? I've found DONDs going in pubs and still lost on them - what's the point?

As simple as it sounds, you need to understand that the money you've lost is gone. Either stop gambling completely (hard to do but possible) or find ways to limit your losses and still feed the cravings. You might find that you start getting your life back. Some of the shit I've put my wife through over the years I'm amazed she's still with me, but things are good now; decent job, good quality of life and 2 great kids. Don't let gambling ruin you; understand it properly and cut it out completely or get it under control.

Good luck,

Dan

Stokie

i really fancy a brainout in the bookies after reading that! ;)
Gambling really does have a darker side to it. Horrible when it stops being fun and you don't stop.....been walking that tightrope for 15 years....
I wouldn't really call it fun it has its highs and lows it's not fun it's abit like following my beloved Birmingham! Promises a lot but delivers very little.
(02-26-2015, 09:02 PM)HoldTheBells Wrote: [ -> ]I've gambled for as long as I can remember, in fact it feels like all I can remember. I sit here after another day like most where yet again I have lost money. My earliest memory's are my father taking me to the seaside to play on the amusements every other weekend (my parents had split) and this must be where it started. Playing the tupny shiver and fruit machines even though I was around ten years old. From there I still remember going to a caravan park with my mum for my birthday and finding myself losing all my birthday money and even resorting to chucking my new wallet in the bin and telling my mum I had lost the wallet with the money in so not to admit what I had done. Living by the coast I had access to large numbers of fruit machines and remember spending my childhood there on my own for hours and even introducing my younger brother to the fun of the flashing lights. Stealing money at the age of 12-14 to play the machines still embarrassed me but what do you know at that age. As I got older and left school pubs came into play. I remember countless nights out with my mates on £25 jackpot machines with my friends getting pissed off at me and moving onto the next pub without me as I seemed hypnotised by the gamble and either caught up with them if I won or walked home if I lost missing out on a night out. Then I got my first proper job, getting the train to London each day I would do a hard days work and then get the train back. The amount of trains I missed must be in the hundreds as I was to busy playing the machine at the platform sometimes arriving home 3 hours late. Big losses ended up in me not having the money for the train and ending up sitting in the toilet for the hour and a half journey praying the conductor didn't force the door. Countless similar stories have followed with a lot of friendships and relationships finishing due to me always disappearing and never having any money. Missed weekends away and holidays as I kept losing my spending money leaving me sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. Then came FOBT's and the cheque cashing and payday loans as my credit rating was now shot. Yes there were good times with 2-3k winning days quite regular but these never outweighed the losses. Time and time again I would build up a big bank roll only to lose it in one go and then more. That has been the story for the last ten ish years with more time spent gambling then anything else. I have always had good jobs but so far have lost each one due to me disappearing for an afternoon as the desire pulled me away from my desk to waste all my money once again. I am now married, have a mortgage and a good paid job but that is not enough. Still on a monthly basis I will waste at least a grand gambling only for the desire to carry on just as strong. Scratch cards, poker, casinos, fruit machines, bookies, football, horses the list goes on. Why have I sat here and typed all this, maybe because reading the posts on this site I hope some of you can sympathise with me. Not that I blame anyone or want any advise I just want to say I AM TIRED. Tired of wasting all my fucking life gambling. no one I know is in the same situation and no one who now knows me knows what I get up to and unfortunately I don't think they would understand.
I can relate to your story. I've been gambling every day since a teenager. I've always said to myself I need to stop, but never did. One day after a disagreement with my boss I went in paddy power and done £380 in a fobt in less than 10 minutes. Sure I'd lost a lot more than that before, but it was the brutality. For the first time I said "enough is enough". I didn't have a gamble for over a year until one day I was bored in wetherspoons and stuck done change in dond pure gold. Within a couple of minutes I was feeding a £20 note in. The next few weeks and months led me to hitting the bookies and casinos harder than I had previously. It was Easter weekend and i walked out of Ladbrokes to withdraw some more money from the ATM. I had withdrew my daily allowance on my debit cards and all 3 credit cards! I realised my gambling had got completely out of control again and I've not gambled since then (1 year now). I've had to accept that I'm a problem gambler that cannot control my addiction. Abstinence is the only way for me. I can't even do a quid in a fruit machine as I know I'll be balls in a fobt within hours.
I wish anyone else with problem gambling every success in dealing with it.
My main issue is that i like some play/enjoyment for my cash.

With the shit out there these days its either boring gameplay or an arseraping. Both suck you in and if lucky can hit something and run, but usually its just hoping for a break even scenario or not too mich of a sore bum, but again neither seem to come all that often any more.

Its hard to walk away with nothing, but these days rowing a machine is not the way forward, but we all do it, and we all chase wins.

I just need to learn self control, but tbh i dont think i ever will. I have good and bad days. Some days ill even gamble like a dick throwing money left right and centre and come out ok, but usually theres always a point in a bad session when enough is enough, but me and many others are almost in the zone. Man v machine almost + a bit of addiction means walking away is tough. Its only when youve done another few 100 and are skint/get fed up you see sense and think fuck i wish i walked x amount ago.
It has been the same since time began. The money is never just there on a plate.
Play for nothing online or in apps rather than rowing £££ into pub machines or worse FOBTs. The game is the same. The thrill of winning reduced but the pain of losing removed entirely
(04-03-2016, 10:28 PM)dude_se Wrote: [ -> ]My main issue is that i like some play/enjoyment for my cash.

With the shit out there these days its either boring gameplay or an arseraping. Both suck you in and if lucky can hit something and run, but usually its just hoping for a break even scenario or not too mich of a sore bum, but again neither seem to come all that often any more.

Its hard to walk away with nothing, but these days rowing a machine is not the way forward, but we all do it, and we all chase wins.

I just need to learn self control, but tbh i dont think i ever will. I have good and bad days. Some days ill even gamble like a dick throwing money left right and centre and come out ok, but usually theres always a point in a bad session when enough is enough, but me and many others are almost in the zone. Man v machine almost + a bit of addiction means walking away is tough. Its only when youve done another few 100 and are skint/get fed up you see sense and think fuck i wish i walked x amount ago.

Totally agree with this! For the last year or so I have been working in a place where I don't really like to go out into as it's a scummy place, so on weekends I usually have one afternoon when I have a few games (not really with big money) and see what I can do, and most weeks it's not too bad. Haven't forced a £100 for a looooongggggg time as I don't see the point of it, they are soooooo shit it's untrue for the most part! About to be made redundant at the end of next month and although I am going to have a fair whack of compensation, I'm not going to flush much down such toilets of machines in pubs these days! There's more to life than looking for a temporary high and knowing it's just going to go back in the next day  Confused  Sad
When the fun stops...

I've played the machines for nearly 35 years and in that time had emptiers and also times when I wanted to top myself due to heavy losses. The only cure for 'addiction', however, is 'stop'. No medicine can help you because it's not an illness despite what GA will have you believe.

Addiction is a choice. Choose wisely.
feels like an illness at times.

theres some utter filth out there these days, and I mean filth, but we are all guilty of playing them! (sometimes anyway).
(04-08-2016, 06:10 PM)Boulderdash Wrote: [ -> ]When the fun stops...

I've played the machines for nearly 35 years and in that time had emptiers and also times when I wanted to top myself due to heavy losses. The only cure for 'addiction', however, is 'stop'. No medicine  can help you because it's not an illness despite what GA will have you believe.

Addiction is a choice. Choose wisely.

I've played them for 30 years too and have had numerous emptiers in that time.  It didn't help that when I was 16 (25 years ago) I was making over a grand a week from em.  It took a long time for me to realise that making money isn't always as easy as playing a fruit machine.   In the 30 years I've been playing them the only days when I hadn't played a fruit machine or fobt were if I was abroad and in the past couple of years since I've actually tried to stop gambling.  I don't think it will ever get out of my system.  I still find myself watching people play fruit machines in pubs and notice what the fruit machines are in a pub.  I mean, I still come on this website and read people's "my day" stories and the like. 
Will I ever gamble again? I don't know, but I hope and pray I don't.    It took me a lot of pain, wasted time and heartache to hit the trigger point for me to stop.  That feeling when you finish a marathon session and walk away from the arcade/bookie and it hits you that you've done your bollocks in isn't one I want to experience again.  When I was growing up the attitude of arcades and pubs was that anyone could play regardless of age.  I think the government have got tougher on that, but the amount of temptation to gamble now is the worst I think it has ever been in this country.  The amount of betting shops there are now is incredible combined with the amount of advertising there is for online sites on late night tv or when watching sports and with online gambling there isn't any escape.  It is a worrying trend.
(04-08-2016, 11:16 AM)Boulderdash Wrote: [ -> ]Play for nothing online or in apps rather than rowing £££ into pub machines or worse FOBTs. The game is the same. The thrill of winning reduced but the pain of losing removed entirely

I did that when I had my first slip.  I knew I wanted to stop gambling again, so thought I'd get an app on my phone that would allow me to play, but not for any money.  It had the opposite desired on me and made me want to gamble with real money - which I ended up doing.
I've always been into fruits ever since I can remember. I've lived, breathed even dreamt of the bloody things. My addiction started back in 1989 on barcrest topstop a £2 repeat machine, my brother got me my first part time job as a spud basher in local chippy I was 14 he thought he could beat the fruity , he had a system wrote every hi lo number done etc of course he lost he's not addicted I am! I like us all are all addicted we always will be. OnE thing I've never touched is bookies thank God didn't see the point of losing high money in one hit, basically the fruit machine has ruled my life since. Now since I have two kids gambling is a lot harder duevto lack of money so theyve hrlped in that respect. I still havr thr odd twenty online at weekends to get my fix, also since i found emulation thats also helped even now creating the fruits i played many moons ago.
Hiya Vecs. Good to hear from you.

Any joy finding the real music for club attraction emulator?
(04-10-2016, 04:54 PM)vectra666 Wrote: [ -> ]I've always been into fruits ever since I can remember. I've lived, breathed even dreamt of the bloody things. My addiction started back in 1989 on barcrest topstop a £2 repeat machine, my brother got me my first part time job as a spud basher in local chippy  I was 14 he thought he could beat the fruity , he had a system wrote every hi lo number done etc of course he lost he's not addicted I am!  I like us all are all addicted we always will be. OnE thing I've never touched is bookies thank God didn't see the point of losing high money in one hit, basically the fruit machine has ruled my life since. Now since I have two kids gambling is a lot harder duevto lack of money so theyve hrlpedStrongly  in that respect. I still havr thr odd twenty online at weekends to get my fix, also since i found emulation thats also helped even now creating the fruits i played many moons ago.

Strongly disagree that 'where all addicted' mate,granted a lot on here sadly are as you can see by the losses and amounts wagered,but some myself included are in perfect control of what we spend and gamble,I always have been since I started playing at 16..I'm 35 now and have never been close to addicted,sure I've had a few large losses but it's al relevant to what you can afford..
I make thousands a year on fruit machines but anyone who's got into that position of being able to do that usually started out as a problem gambler including me! I'm still guilty of nipping in the bookies when I've had a particularly frustrating day on the fruits and doing 1-2k in half an hour of pure mega spin brains and thinking well done dickhead you've just undone a whole fortnights hard work just cos you've had 1 bad day!
Club attraction? Wasn't that Madness House of Fun?
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